Oh boy, this story. This news. Well let’s start off with a basic overview of it. Nintendo’s profits from the April to September 2009 quarter fell drastically from the astronomical heights of 2007 and 2008′s numbers to the slowdown we’ve been seeing over the past year.

Operating profit was 104.4 billion yen ($1.2 billion dollars) falling from last year’s 252.2 billion yen profit of H1 08.

The Wii has now outsold the SNES with lifetime sales of 56.14 million units while the DS is up to 113.48 million units. This is horrible as the SNES was a true gamer’s machine.

Last month’s price cut which took effect late in September, was still counted in the quarterly one report and eligible to be commented on by internet denizens as “Not good enough lol. Make some HARDCORE GAMES.”

So today all hardcore gaming journalists can rest easy knowing that they’re finally winning the battle between the plebeian casuals and their casual games. TRUE HARDCORE GAMERZ knew that the Wii’s success and failure hinged only on smoke and mirrors, and this news in no way, shape or form represents the Iwata-acknowledged fact that there was shit all to buy in the first quarter first-party-wise aside from Wii Sports Resort and Metroid Prime Trilogy.

Oh and I love how almost everyone reporting on this story includes a mention of Apple’s success with the iPod and iPhone. I mean yeah they’re successes but I don’t reeeeeaaaally think parents hold a game console (these articles are the same ones that rightfully mention sluggish Wii sales in their title as the reason for the drop in profit) in one hand and an iPhone in the other and it’s this big battle and OH MY GOD APPLE PLEASE MAKE A CONSOLE IN FACT I’M GONNA WRITE AN ARTICLE BASED ON CONJECTURE AND SPECULATION ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

I mean, if they were talking about the iPhone being a competitor to the DS then yeah that’s a valid comparison they’re both portables. But just randomly inserting phrases like “Low Wii sales may also be related to the rise of the of the PSPGO and the iPhone” in these professional news stories (and these are professional online news outlets I’m seeing this at, not hobbyist gaming blogs) is…..GAH. -The Ben

Update: You think I was JOKING ABOUT THAT LAST PARAGRAPH? Goddamn FORBES just did it:

HONG KONG — Super Mario Brothers, Cooking Mama, Donkey Kong and all the other game characters Nintendo has conjured up weren’t powerful enough to fend off the challenges of a stronger yen and a new competitor called the iPhone.

Ha ha, I love a cheeky opening to a news story.

Demand for Wii, the bestselling videogame console produced by Nintendo, has been cooling down in the past few months as Apple’s iPhone has been growing in popularity as the platform of choice for handheld game players.

But…they’re two different…GAH.